If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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