You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
