have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
