if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
