Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
