Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
