I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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