you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
