I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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