If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
