Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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