she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
