Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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