Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
