I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
