nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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