I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
