Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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