Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
