I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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