They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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