What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
