If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
