lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
