those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
