You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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