I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
