i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
