Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
