Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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