I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
