how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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