I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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