i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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