I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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