I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
