thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
