Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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