i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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