I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
