how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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