is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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