kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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