Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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