wake up i wanna do it froggy style
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
