If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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