Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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