I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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