i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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