The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
