if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
