I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
