im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
