Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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