i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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