Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
