The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
