He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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