Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
