I want to stick my p in your. b.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
