my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize