if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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