My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
