sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize