Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
