What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize