i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
