you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
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