And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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