At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
