you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
