i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
