hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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