Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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